Old Country For No Men (Part 1)

Thirty eight straight hours in a car driving through a desolate stretch of American wasteland known as Interstate 10 can change a man for the better or for the worse, and since I had nowhere to go but up I'm proud to report that I am better for having inhabited a car that by the end of said journey smelled like feet, stale sweat, ass and McDonald's breakfast sandwiches.

I now present a brief pictorial of my trip from Florida to Arizona by way of Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana,
Texas and New Mexico. I've now seen the southern states coast to coast and I'll just say this: Texas can go fuck itself!

Enjoy.

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Leaving a stormy-ass Florida for the last time in a long time...















Mikey is an asshole and was doing his best to blind me at 3:00 AM while on a tricky stretch of 10 through Houston...asshole!















The man himself, rocking a dead Elvis t-shirt and enjoying a mystery meat McDonald's sandwich somewhere in Texas at dawn.















Much more wit than I would have given the Texans credit for...















The attendant at the gas station across from this oil drill told me he was going to drink my milkshake...then he tried to take off my pants. It was weird.















Mugging...always mugging like a horse-faced jackass. But then again, he is.















The first real mountain I've seen in years. Animal Kingdom is small potatoes compared to God's majesty. Oh, and of course plate tectonics, or whatever.















The sky over New Mexico opening up like a luded-up virgin's legs on prom night in the closet of a Motel 6...
















Next Up: Mikey and I kill a hobo in Louisiana just to watch him die and defile his corpse...